(由 Google 翻译)三星(这已经很慷慨了——景色太美了!)
先说优点吧:景色美极了。可惜,兴奋感也就到此为止了。
我丈夫在网上预订餐桌时提到今天是我的生日。他们甚至要求我们合影,这样就能在我们到达时认出我们,让一切“变得特别”。这个想法很可爱——理论上是这样。但实际上呢?我们走进去,却没有人知道我们是谁。这生日大惊喜就这样泡汤了。
我们坐在餐厅中间(很浪漫吧?),周围都是其他桌子,只有几个靠窗的座位空着。我们问能不能换个位置,却被告知不行。巧的是,一个小时后,这些桌子就被其他情侣占了……显然,“不坐靠窗桌”的规定是有选择性的。
我还没坐下,就被问到想要什么水——气泡水、无气泡水,还是尴尬的沉默?我甚至都没打开菜单,只想喝杯酒。
我们的饮料点了20分钟,但至少到那时我终于可以喝上那杯昂贵的水了。酒终于送来时,服务员很友好,也表示了歉意。她问我们是不是在庆祝什么……是的,我的生日——就是我在网上提到的,还有照片的那个。所以,预订单显然直接被塞进了电子垃圾箱。
然后是音乐。在一个努力打造精致餐饮的餐厅里,流行音乐震耳欲聋。想象一下,在Ed Sheeran的《Shape of You》的伴奏下吃着精致的汉堡。这不像是在Nando's的约会之夜,又不是在屋顶享受优雅。
说到汉堡……天哪。干得像撒哈拉沙漠,味道也淡而无味,面包简直可以当飞盘玩。我家十几岁的孩子做的汉堡比这更好(而且调味也很好!)。桌上的盐和胡椒罐看起来像是从90年代的酒吧里直接搬出来的——格格不入,却又那么迷人。
服务员确实打了个招呼(上帝保佑她,她是当晚唯一的亮点),主动提出再做一份汉堡,但今天是我的生日,我可不想一个人吃,还得让老公看着。
到了甜点时间,我已经不想再吃了,所以点了一杯鸡尾酒。谢天谢地,鸡尾酒很美味——而且它比今晚其他任何东西都上得快。
我们喝完酒,漫步到露台欣赏米尔顿凯恩斯漆黑的天际线,然后回家了。
哦,还有那个“特殊场合上传照片”的玩意儿?不用了。不如上传一张你家猫的照片——它也能获得同样的关注。
总而言之,我可能会再来,一边喝鸡尾酒,一边欣赏美景。但如果你想度过一个特别的夜晚,那就留点照片,留点耐心吧。
(原文)
3 stars (and that’s being generous — the views saved the day!)
Let’s start with the positives: the views are lovely. Unfortunately, that’s where the excitement ends.
When my husband booked the table online, he mentioned it was my birthday. They even asked for a photo of us so they could “make it special” by recognising us on arrival. Cute idea — in theory. In reality? We walked in, no one had a clue who we were. So much for the big birthday surprise.
We were sat in the middle of the restaurant (romantic, right?), surrounded by other tables, while several window seats stood empty. When we asked if we could move, we were told it wasn’t possible. Funny enough, an hour later those same tables were taken… by other couples. Apparently, the “no window table” rule only applies selectively.
Before I’d even settled into my seat, we were asked what water we wanted — sparkling, still, or awkward silence? I hadn’t even opened the menu, I just wanted a glass of wine.
Our drinks order took 20 minutes, but at least by then I had that very expensive glass of water to sip on. The waitress was lovely and apologetic when the wine finally arrived. She asked if we were celebrating something… yes, my birthday — the one I mentioned online, with the photo. So, the booking form clearly went straight to the digital bin.
Then came the music. Pop tunes blasting away in a place trying very hard to be fine dining. Imagine eating a fancy burger to the sound of Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You.” It’s giving date night at Nando’s, not rooftop elegance.
Speaking of the burger… oh dear. Dry as the Sahara, flavour missing in action, and the bun could’ve doubled as a frisbee. My teenager makes better burgers (and seasons them too!). The salt and pepper pots on the table looked like they came straight out of a 90s pub — charmingly out of place.
The waitress did check in (bless her, she was the only redeeming part of the evening) and offered to make another burger, but it was my birthday date, and I didn’t fancy eating alone while my husband watched.
By dessert time, I’d lost the will to chew, so I ordered a cocktail instead. Thankfully, that was delicious — and it arrived faster than anything else all evening.
We finished our drinks, took a stroll to the terrace to admire the pitch-black skyline of Milton Keynes, and headed home.
Oh, and that whole “upload your picture for special occasions” thing? Don’t bother. Might as well upload a photo of your cat — it’ll get the same attention.
Overall, I might return for a cocktail and the view. But if you’re hoping for a special night, save your photo and your patience.